the dream

Dream a dream so big you cannot see all of it

yet

dream a dream so big it stirs you and and makes you

tremble

with the hope and idea of it

dream a dream so big nothing can stop it

nothing can hold it down

or cover it

or remove it from your heart and soul

dream a dream so big that others see it too and 

want it for you 

and for themselves

and for others

dream a dream so big it wakes you up at night

and walks every day with you

and colors the world for you

and lights the way for you

dream a dream so big it changes you

makes you wiser and stronger and 

better from the inside out

dream a dream so big that you let go of what was 

and enter the future bravely

ceremoniously

dream a dream so big you become all that you are meant to be

and then some

dream that dream 

become that dream

live that dream

dream a dream so big that you transform

to be what God intended

dream a dream so big that you shine as the miracle in your own life

dream a dream

and then become 

the dream

we're in a relaionship

I hear and read a lot about building relationships in business.  It has become a catch phrase that represents the approach necessary to being successful in business or in any job.  It is something that was there all along but now we recognize it and have given it center stage in our efforts.  We seek to understand and connect with others so that we can help them, be of service to them.  We know that if we establish a relationship with those we meet we will benefit and grow with them, not just because of them.

Last night I had some friends over to my house for a jewelry party.  The two women who conducted the party were sisters and they presented numerous pieces of jewelry on mannequins that they had dressed in varying outfits to demonstrate the versatility and beauty of the jewelry.  The sisters had this rhythm between them that drew us in.  They were not glamorous or intimidatingly good looking.  They were just two women like us who used jewelry to look good, to feel pretty, and to augment their wardrobe.  Over the course of a couple of hours we got to know these women.  We shared food and talked while we tried on the jewelry, laughing and enjoying the "girls' dress-up event."  I learned a lot about mixing pieces of jewelry.  I learned even more about the power of relationships because these two women came into my home strangers but by the time they left I felt I knew them.

And that is the power of "relationshiping"in business and in life - getting to know others.  It's the going from "hello" to "I can't wait to hear from you."  It is the sharing of stories and experiences.  It is getting to that place of comfort and easy conversation where connection takes root and becomes something more.  Last night I fell in love with the jewelry, learned a lot, and chose pieces that I am excited about.  It was fun.  But it was the interaction with others and the experience that will bring me back to shop again.  They mentioned a spring line.  Can't wait!

the people we meet

One of my favorite things in this life is to meet new people.  I love the conversations and discovery.  I especially enjoy looking at the world through other people's eyes.  The perspective they offer often makes me reconsider my own views, opening me up to possibilities previously unconsidered.  How wonderful to find fresh ideas.  Today I met two new people.  At the end of my time with each of them I felt lifted.  The circle of my own life was broadened and reshaped by their having arrived.  And for that I was grateful.  Blessed.

Every day I have the opportunity to meet new people.  I love that as I get ready for my day what lies ahead is still largely veiled and unknown.  For all the planning I do, my interactions with people remain the element of surprise.  As we reach out to people through the internet and social media we take our cues from things they have written and posted on their websites, facebook, twitter, or elsewhere.  We have learned to interact using common tools, phrases, links, and visual and audio clips.  We live and function in this new realm where we converse, communicate, interact, do business, and build our community.  So often what someone has written or posted offers just what we need in the current moment.  Somedays it is the found phrase of another that inspires us, moves us to action, keeps us from giving up and allows us to find our way through to the next level of success we have been seeking.  It is that one person who seems to see us where we are and offers the hand of change, hope.

My goal is to be that person for someone on any given day.  I offer it from a grateful heart.  We are here on this planet in the wide universe to bless one another, to create the pathways, and to be a light.  Pay it forward.  There is always more.

A change in the weather

It's November 9th and the temperatures here in Phoenix finally dipped below 70 degrees - 69 to be exact.  Everyone was talking about how cold it was today.  People wore hats and coats and sweaters.  Now I know to my Canadian family and friends this sounds a little crazy.  But I've lived in Phoenix since 2003 so my thick Canadian blood thinned a long time ago.  And just so you know, I was not wearing a coat, hat, or even a sweater.   But I was delighted to feel the chill of November, be it ever so relative.  Because after months of living in air conditioning, fending off the 110 degrees outside, this was a day to celebrate.

All my life fall has been my favorite season.  The smell of macintosh apples, smoke from a chimney, a new woolen sweater, my leather book bag, maple leaves on the ground, are memories that take me back to my childhood in outport Newfoundland in autumn.  Of course, that was September.  Still today I found myself remembering those things and enjoying them once again, if only in my mind.  There was for me always a sense of new beginnings in the fall.  School, the promise of ideas, new books to read, stories to write, friends and adventures.  How lovely, that on this November day I was reawakened to that joyful anticipation because the cool air held a twinge of the crisp days of fall from long ago.

My life in this moment is filled with new beginnings.  I am learning to live my life as a single mom. I am meeting new people.  I am stepping out of my comfort zone to do things I have not dared before.  I am building a a business from home, a life long dream of mine.  These are new adventures, new joys.  And while I still have my moments of trepidation I wake each day with the certainty that I am on to something good.  Something wonderful.  A definite change in the weather.

May you blessed today!

www.ceowomenathome.com

www.facebook.com/mary.hodder1

Do you have the time?

Who among us could not use more time?  We talk about time ~ all the time.  We say we don't have enough time, we are out of time, if only we had more time, time is running out.  We talk so much about time, not realizing we are wasting time talking about our lack of time. We say things like I would start a home-based business if I had the time.  I would exercise if I had the time.  I would get my masters, grow a garden, paint, quilt, run, read - all if I had the time.  We treat time like something we cannot afford, like something that costs too much for us to have it.  Yet time is always with us, we are always in it.  No matter what we are doing we are using time.  It's how we use time that matters.

I love the saying that what we focus on increases.  So if we focus on the lack of time, guess what?  We have a lack of time.  But if we focus on creating time to do the things that are important to us then we'll have more time.  It means not wasting time, squandering time, or letting time slip by.  When we take action to do things, suddenly time is our friend.  I can get a lot done in a short amount of time if I stay focused and work hard.  I can sometimes multi-task with vigor because I am energized to accomplish my tasks.  So often I can do more in an hour, because I am focused, than I may have done all day.

I work full time in a job outside my home but I also come home at the end of the day to work on my home-based business.  I schedule time for my business and stick to it.  I don't waste my time idly in front of the tv.  I choose to use my time wisely to create more of what I want in my life.  Dave Ramsey says that to be successful you have to "live like no one else so that later on you can live like no one else."  What you do with time today will determine what you can do with time later on.  That simple phrase of Ramsey's changed my view on what it takes to be successful in life, financially and otherwise.  You have got to do what it takes today, now, in this moment, in the time you are in, so that later you can use time the way you want to for other things in your life.

Face it, if you waste your time hoping you will win the lottery while you watch yet another tv show, come this time next year you will most likely still be doing the same thing.  And still complaining that you never have enough time.   How you spend your time now will always determine how you spend your time later on.  Take time, make time, create time.  It's up to you.


www.facebook.com/mary.hodder1

Some days it all makes sense

I attended a Women's Leadership Conference today.  What a wonderful, successful day it was!  I was surrounded by women whose knowledge and experience affirmed for me that doing what you love in life, what you are passionate about, will lead you to fulfillment.  There was nothing exceptionally new being said but the message resonated with me in a new way and called me to action.  We talked a lot about facing our fears, not letting fears stop us, and believing in ourselves.  Following your passion, your bliss, carried throughout the conversations and presentations.  I was awake, fully awake, as I have not been for a long time, if ever, in my life.  All the self-help books, websites, magazines, blogs I have ever read came into clear focus as if someone drew aside a curtain and allowed me to look into my life for the first time.  In just a few hours I went from excuses and restraint to releasing my fears so that I can embrace my dreams.

I can't tell you that any one specific moment or phrase or person made this happen.  It was more that my affirmation at the beginning of the day for the right people and messages come into my life to reveal the direction I should take.  It happened with each person and conversation and presentation.  It was also that I was finally ready to hear the messages and to raise myself out of my place of self-doubt and worry.  You see, I have held a long list of "reasons" why things are not turning out as I desire.  I have an even longer list of "reasons" of why I should not do things.  But on this day, November 5th, 2010 I looked into the mirror to see the reflection of the one and only person who can change that version of my life - me.  And the fundamental truth that rang out like a bell calling me to my inner wisdom was that the fear of failure can only hold you back if you allow it.  Fear is simply something that resides in our minds and failure is nothing more than a lesson on the path to success; it can even be the reason for our success if we learn from it.

If today you are struggling with how to move forward in your life I understand how you feel.  I have been there.  It's my story too.  My advice is that you keep moving forward, one day, one step at a time.  Face your fears, stare them down.  Find mentors who believe in you.  Be uplifted by the shared experiences of those you know and those you meet.  Encouragement will show up when you need it and life will support you and give you courage - no matter what.  Simply lean into your passion and keep going.  It's worth it!

life unveiled

Elizabeth Lesser has a wonderful book called "Broken Open; How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow" that I am reading for the third time.  I have recently had some experiences that made this book a guide and a necessity.  I separated from my husband, moved to a new house, and my father died - all within the space of three weeks.  That was May.  It is now September.  I thought, being the virgo, type-A person that I am, that by now I would be well on my way to the life on the other side of my life's tragedies.  That is not the case.  I have tried to accept this and learn some patience.  Elizabeth talks about going into the pain to find courage in the softness of sadness.  I always thought courage was about strength and resilience.  My sad, broken heart just needed to get over things.  Yet, as I take more care of me and let the sadness exist for a while I am finding a new dimension to courage that I never knew I had.  You see, for a long time I hid my pain and put on a facade for everyone.  Now the veil is lifted and I am standing naked in my own reality, facing the woman in the mirror who lets her true feelings show and is not ashamed of the truth anymore.

Elizabeth also talks about the "Open Secret" that we all share.  We tell each other in our conversations and greetings that all is well and life is good and have a wonderful day.  We walk away envious of the other's happiness because we know ours' is fake.  But the secret is that the people we greet most often feel the same way.  They think we are the happy ones and they wish they were us.  If we were honest we would both see that we have pain and fears and disappointments.  We would be able to truly see each other and perhaps even lift each other up.  Instead we want others to believe we are happy and all is well even though we are tortured by the misbelief that it is really everyone else who has found the key to happiness for which we continue to search.  I walked around like that for years and it took a lot of energy to pretend I was "fabulous" when what I truly needed was to open my heart and tell my story.

I am in the process of becoming real.  I am slowly coming to like and love myself.  I am thinking again of what pleases me, exploring the dreams and longings of my heart.  I am learning to trust the voice within me that I finally recognize as my own.  I am beginning adventures, like building a business.  I spend time calling friends I have neglected for a long time.  I am writing down my goals and planning my life.  I am taking time to sit with myself so I can listen to silence and wait for answers from within.  I am learning to trust that my sadness is the pathway through to the me I have yearned to find.  And when I think I don't know how I will make it on my own I remind myself that I am already doing it, one miraculous day at a time.

I know that as women we are so used to taking care of others that we forget how to love and nurture ourselves.  In the last three months I have had an awakening, a Phoenix kind of arising, from my past.  I see now that my life was not full of mistakes, but of lessons and blessings, from which my whole self is being formed.  For within every perceived failure lies our potential for success if we but seek the lesson offered.

mighty lessons

When my father died in May my heart seemed to split wide open.  I was in the midst of separating from my husband, as well as moving to a new house.  My kids, caught in the middle. Then suddenly I was on a plane flying across the country to be with my family in Newfoundland.  Looking back on those days in May I scarce know how I survived.  At a time when I needed someone to lean on I was the most alone I had ever been in my life.  We can go for years feeling that things remain the same and then within the space of a few days reality shifts and we are forever changed.

Somehow I stumbled into June.  The kids and I began our life in a new house, getting used to the changes. I am in awe of my body now because each day I was able to keep going and it never failed me. One day at a time.  June became July and July gave way to August.  And here I am today.  Slowly the heart ache subsides and life around me takes on the visage of normal.  I am learning to go forward.  For the first time in almost 30 years I am not in a relationship.  And while I thought I would leap into the experience it has taken some getting used-to, some adjustment and courage.  My father told me once that he thought I was a very strong person.  He also told me that being able to support myself was important in life because there are no guarantees.  I wonder if he saw something in me that drew that comment to his mind.  For here I am living out the "no guarantee" scenario.

So what does this story have to do with building a business?  Well, it's more about building a life.  We all come to our work and daily engagements with multiple shades of experience.  We are not one-dimensional, and really how boring would that be?  I look back upon May as a month of mighty lessons.  And the most important one came from my father.  He took his exit much as he lived his life, quietly, faithfully and without a fuss.  He died as he lived, with honor and blessings.  My father did not amass great financial fortune in his life but he lived with the kind of abundance and love that most of us yearn for but rarely find.  Not one day of his life did he owe money.  He never had a mortgage or a car loan or any kind of credit.  He never knew a day of debt.  He loved my mother with his whole heart and created a life that was happy, family-centered and rich in joyous gatherings.  He focused on what mattered, never veering from that, and always working hard to support it.  And therein lies the wisdom.  To focus on what matters most in all that we do.  To reaffirm our "why" when we wake up each day.  I believe that if we do that, focus on what matters,  anything and everything is possible.

go with the flow

My daughter has been saying all summer that she is just "going with the flow."  She is 16 and a rather dramatic, live-with flair, intense, ambitious teenager so this is a departure from the norm for her.  She decided that after a year of stress in her life and being very demanding of herself that she would loosen up, be more relaxed, and simply go with the flow.  She recommended it to me.  She thought her much older, type A, driven, must-be-busy mom needed to stop taking life so seriously.

It is true.  I wake up every day thinking of what I need to do.  My entire morning routine is over-shadowed by my thoughts of what must be accomplished.  But lately I have been trying something new.  I spend at least 10-15 minutes of my morning quietly reflecting while I sip my coffee.  When my thoughts try to race towards creating a checklist for the day, I refrain.  I sit very still and simply enjoy the quietness of my house and the solitude.  I think of all the things I am grateful for in my life especially the blessings of love and friendship.  I practice listening inwardly.  It is my coffee meditation time.  My listen to God time.  My "go with the flow" time, as my daughter says.  For instead of pushing ahead into my day I am taking time to reconnect with the flow of life that runs peacefully within all of us.  We simply need to look within to find it, waiting there for us in the hushed silence of our spiritual being.

If my daughter read this she would be telling me by now that I have taken this "go with the flow" thing too far.  I would have gone a little too "Oprah" for her.  I can hear her say, "There's mom, off on her personal 'Eat, Pray, Love' experience again!  And that may be true.  I am a middle-aged woman seeking her true meaning of life, with enough life-lessons to know that I will never find myself out there in the world.  Been there, done that.  Nope, I am doing the inside job now.  It took me 48 years to figure that out, but by golly I have arrived.  Whatever happens in the second half of my life will be created from the inside out.  I realize this is not a revelation.  Lots of people know this.  I have been reading books for years that teach this very message.  It's just that I am finally doing it.  I am finally taking the time for reflection, meditation and silence.  It is my version of going with the flow.

All things in life require the thinking first and then the doing.  And it is in the doing that we discover that the answers we were seeking were within us all along.

finding your passion

When I was a young girl attending university I became an English honors student.  This event in itself was a surprise to me, that I should be accepted into the honors program.  It was the first time in my life that I really felt I could be more than ordinary, more than a girl from outport Newfoundland.  It was the first time that the universe responded to my heart's greatest desire to be a learned person of literature.  I wanted to hear and feel and fully experience the power of language and how we as humans communicate what is in our souls.  It was the beginning of my love affair with words that continues to this day.

Looking back I wonder if things would have turned out as well as they did without my beloved professor, Gildas Roberts.  Dr. Roberts was extraordinary.  He was a man of small stature but large presence.  When he walked down the hallways of the English Department he seemed to glide, with his academic robes gracefully swishing behind him.  He was immaculate in dress and personal grooming, distinguished and charming.  He knew he caught your attention and he enjoyed it.  He entered the classroom with the same flourish and looked out upon us with a mischievous gleam in his eye.  Only Gildas Roberts could make Beowulf rise from the pages to live amongst us in the classroom.  His flawless reading in Old English gave shape to a language that was as sweet in the ear as it was upon the tongue.  I went on to take advanced Old English.  Dr. Roberts taught one other student and me in his office for two semesters.  We were two eager young girls with our feet tucked beneath us in large leather chairs, ready to learn from a man whose wisdom we so deeply admired.  That winter was a blessed time.  Snow falling outside the window of Dr. Roberts' office while we read and translated word for word the entire text of Beowulf. By the time spring came we had finished our translation.  As a gift for our many hours of dedicated work Dr. Roberts gave each of us a signed copy of his personal published translation of Beowulf.  It is a treasured book in my library to this day.

After I graduated from university my life took a number of different turns and it was many years later that I decided to reconnect with my professor.  Sadly, my dear Dr. Roberts had been tragically killed in a motorcycle accident while traveling in Wales.  It broke my heart to not get to tell him how much he meant to me and how important a role he played in my life.  Part of me supposes that he knew.  But youth is not always respectful of the gifts bestowed.  It takes time and perspective to gain genuine understanding of what was imparted by those who taught us when we were young.  It was when my children took an interest in Beowulf that I began thinking of Dr. Roberts again.  As I read and translated the text for my kids I heard the voice of Gildas Roberts patiently enunciating each separate sound of the Anglo Saxon words. Once more Beowulf came alive for me and I was able to incite in my kids the awe and wonder of the story of a hero and a monster.

How fortunate are we when we find our passion!  There is a joy in it like none other.  We are fully awake, alive in the pulse of our greatest existence.  It is in our passion that we find our reason for being, our purpose, our right alignment with the spirit that guides us.  I wish for you just such an awakening, just such a doorway into your passion.  You deserve nothing less.

happy by choice

So often I have found myself saying, "I'll be happy when..."  My thinking put happiness in the future and placed its dependence on some event or thing or person coming into my life.  It was as though happiness was something I had to wait for.  It was not in the present, or at least the happiness I hoped for was not in the present.  And I seemed content to live like that.  Waiting for happiness to arrive.

Louise Hay, author of "You Can Heal Your Life," teaches that anything we want in life we need to affirm in the now.  Say it like it already exists.  "I am happy."  The first time I said that I let the words resonate for a while.  I said it over and over until I understood that to be happy is a choice.  It is something I am or I am not, and either way I choose it.  At first it was surprising and a little uncomfortable.  I get to choose.  It's up to me.  It's in me.  I don't have to wait for it, or hope for it, or long for it.  I can be happy right now just by saying so and believing it.

We live in world filled with people who long for, wish for, and wait for, but cannot seem to get what they want.  I have been one of those people.  "Someday things will be better."  Today I look in the mirror to have a upfront and personal conversation with the woman who is me and I tell her, "Someday is today." I know that the choice to be happy is all mine.  No matter what has happened or will happen I am alive with the certainty and blessing that today is the day I am happy by choice.

If we choose to be happy so much of what we struggle with will ease.  Like magic we will be surrounded by other happy people, drawn to us by the power of our choice.  This simple truth can be applied in all other aspects of our life.  What we think and what we believe draws to us and creates for us our reality.

make it one step at a time

In the evenings, my son and I have been hiking up South Mountain near our home in Phoenix.  We go in the evenings because the sun is off the mountain at that time, making it a little less hot.  July in Phoenix means the temperatures are never much below 110 degrees.  It's our time to get some exercise, push ourselves a little, and to talk.  I especially enjoy the talking part with my son.  He's always funny and entertaining.  Our goal is to make it to the top where we can collapse on the bench at the viewpoint for a few minutes of respite and water before we head back down.

When we start out on our walk the summit seems a long way off.  The path is easy at first but as we hike up the mountain trail the climb grows more challenging.  It's always the last 10 minutes when our talking slows because breathing is more labored from the effort of manouvering up the steep, rocky path.  But once we see the end in sight we are motivated and excited to make it to the finish.  Coming to the top we look out over the valley for a view well worth the effort.  It is our reward.  And as we look back down the path we climbed there is a sense of satisfaction that we made our way, one step at a time, to such a spectacular vantage point.

Starting a business is a lot like climbing a mountain.  I know that sounds cliche.  But think of it this way.  The reward of climbing, working hard, and not giving up is getting to the place you most desire to be.  Once you get there you can enjoy the view and take in the wonder of where you are, appreciating why you pushed on through the difficult moments to get to the top.  So often we give up before reaching our goals because we lose sight of why we starting climbing in the first place.  But when we persist we are truly blessed at the top.

Keep climbing.  It is so worth it.

sacred space

When I was  a young girl I would go walking in the woods near my house.  I would tuck a book inside my jacket and walk along the trail, follow the old fence, and make my way through the under brush until I came to my tree.  My tree.  The one I climbed and pulled myself up until I came to that wide branch that curved up to the tree trunk creating a perfect seat for me.  And there I would nestle myself into that wooden nook, out of view amongst the green leaves and and the shroud of trees surrounding my sacred space in the forest.  For a while I would sit in the quiet to read and to think and to be with just myself.  Lost to time and the demands of others.

It's been a lot of years since I sat in that tree or any other.  I make it my practice though to sit quietly each day so that I may reconnect to the silence within, to the peace that is the soul.  It is the act of withdrawing from the world to a softer inner place that allows us to return to the world reawakened and renewed.  I carry the memory of my tree with me, returning to it in my mind whenever I long for a moment of bliss.  I feel the curve of the tree at my back, hear the rustle of the leaves, and I slip back in time to my early joy of solitude.  I close my eyes to go there.  And when I return I open my eyes to see the world is always more beautiful after we have stepped away from the noise, be it ever so briefly.

Take time for yourself.

Going for the Goal

This past winter I was glued to the mens' hockey final gold medal game in the Winter Olympics in BC.  I am a Canadian living in the US but my heart and my cheers were fully with the Canadian team.  The game was a fast, nail-biting, jumping-out-of-your-seat ride that ended with a tie and then over time.  Whoever scored the goal would win the gold medal for their country.  I cried, along with most Canadians, when we scored that goal.  It was a moment of great pride and love for my country and our hockey team.  A sweet victory made even sweeter because our women's team also won the gold medal for Canada.  

As a girl growing up in rural Newfoundland every Saturday night was "hockey night in Canada" and I spent most of those with my grandmother who cheered for the Toronto Maple Leafs, calling out their names and willing them to score while the knitting in her hands picked up speed as her hockey passion mounted.  In my grandmother's living room I learned what it meant to be a fan of a sport that draws people together and lifts them up.  We, with our team, remain focused on the goal that will create the win.  Just like in the gold medal Olympic game where that one goal made all the difference.

Creating a business is like a hockey game, and though you may laugh, I think it is true.  If we position ourselves well we work with a great team where we all support one another and work towards common goals.  We go out of our way to help each other, to ensure that we win.  If at times we lose a game, we get right back out there knowing that the loss teaches us how to be better players and win next time.   We continue to work hard, knowing it is worth it.  We practice every day so that we can improve.  We cheer for each other and celebrate success.  We know that together we stronger than we are alone.  And always we stay motivated and driven by going for the goal.

Make a Move

Have you ever needed to take that first step, make that first call and you can't seem to get going on it? Perhaps you've made a list of who you want to call, written down what you want to say, rehearsed, and then you hesitated.  You sat there imagining what could go wrong, how you might be rejected, how all of this would make you feel.  And then you decided you needed more time so you put off the call until later.  You told yourself that you would be more confident and more prepared later.  But when later came you still did't feel ready.

The key to making a move is to jump in and do it.  If call does not go well, learn from it.  If you mess up and say the wrong things, learn from that.  If the call is a success, great.  Any way it turns out know that making the call, taking the chance, was better than not doing it.  You will come out the other side smarter and more informed than you went in.  You will figure out what works and what does not, and use that information to craft your future calls for success.  How do I know this?  I've been there in the hesitation zone!  And now I am in the "make a move" zone.  Feeling the fear but doing it anyway and learning as I go. 

the dream

Every thing we accomplish in life begins with a dream.  It comes to our mind to create something, to do something and we imagine it being true. If we really want the dream to come true we hang on to it.  Then we decide to make it real.  We make it, create it and bring it into reality.  Sometimes this happens quickly.  Sometimes it takes years.  I have had the dream of working for myself for a long time.  I have imagined it over and over, being in control of my time and working from home.  It has taken me a long time to find a home-based business that I could believe in and that fit with my values and standards.  But having found one that meets my criteria I am setting out on a journey of discovery with a desire to succeed and a willingness to do what it takes to get there.  I know without any doubt that I will be guided and supported along the way by the people who work with me, by my intense focus on my goals, and by the power of my belief that it is not only possible but do-able.  I live by the words that if you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it.