Black History Month Poem

Black History Month 2011

In 1998 I moved to South Carolina.  My exposure to black history and racial prejudice had until that time been largely influenced by television, movies, and what I had read.  I had no first-hand experience of life in the southern US.  I was naive enough to think racial differences were part of the past.  It did not seem possible to me that such a thing as “voluntary segregation” could exist in the late 1990’s.  The term “voluntary segregation” was introduced to me in a short-lived friendship that I had with a young black man from South Carolina, named Wendell.  It meant that although blacks were by law no longer segregated, black and white people still chose to live separately.  It was expected.  It made things easier for everyone.  And in truth, when I looked around my neighborhood we were by far white.  Wendell told me about “voluntary segregation” on the last day I ever saw him.  Wendell and I had instantly become friends when we met but we did not remain friends for long because of the compromises he would have had to make, the risks he would have had to take, in associating with me, a white woman.  It was a shock and disappointment to me at the time.  A deep hurt curled its way inside my heart for the bitter, sad truth of it.  Wendell has remained in my thoughts and prayers all these years and I wrote the following poem in honor of him for this 2011 Black History Month.  Wherever you are Wendell, this is for you, my friend.

~ Wendell

his name was Wendell

he was the first black friend

I ever had

with a smile so big

it stretched across his face

and sparkled in his eyes

and took me by surprise

and made me smile back

made me laugh with him

just for the joy of it

made me like him

want to get to know him

talk to him

made me want to be his friend

his name was Wendell

and we sat on the steps 

of my front porch

that first day 

looking out at the southern afternoon

with the sun so hot 

and the air so thick and drowsy 

the day so slow 

that we languished in the lazy shade

me a white woman 

he a black man

in a place where I was to learn

that color

still made a difference

still mattered

still separated

still painted prejudice 

on the hearts of those 

good southern Christians

like a sad song they were born to sing

like a brutal burden they were doomed to bear

simply because they always had

and for no better reason than that

but on that first day 

on that thank you God for Wendell day

he was my friend

making me laugh ‘til my sides hurt

slap my knee

throw back my head

wipe the tears from my eyes 

shake me, make me feel good laughs

and for a space of time

he remained my friend

he told me things

showed me things

let me see the south his way

but there came a day

that wish to God it never came day

when Wendell said

we could no longer be friends

his smile was gone 

our laughter silenced

by an ugly truth

as we stood in my kitchen

him telling me

that the way of south

would never really let us be 

friends

me a white woman

he a black man

it’s the way that it is

the way it’s always been

best you leave it alone

best I go on home

I told him no

not where I come from

he put his hand on my arm

looked into my eyes

this ain’t your place

you must realize

it’s better this way

easier too

here in the south

it’s what we do

I go my way 

you go yours

and he walked out my door

his name was Wendell

he was the first black friend

I ever had

and even after all these years 

and all this time

the regret lingers with me

gnaws at my conscience

of what is right 

and what is terribly wrong

so I carry Wendell in my heart

and wish for him

hope for him

long for him

to one day be 

my friend

again

02.12.2011

the dream

Dream a dream so big you cannot see all of it

yet

dream a dream so big it stirs you and and makes you

tremble

with the hope and idea of it

dream a dream so big nothing can stop it

nothing can hold it down

or cover it

or remove it from your heart and soul

dream a dream so big that others see it too and 

want it for you 

and for themselves

and for others

dream a dream so big it wakes you up at night

and walks every day with you

and colors the world for you

and lights the way for you

dream a dream so big it changes you

makes you wiser and stronger and 

better from the inside out

dream a dream so big that you let go of what was 

and enter the future bravely

ceremoniously

dream a dream so big you become all that you are meant to be

and then some

dream that dream 

become that dream

live that dream

dream a dream so big that you transform

to be what God intended

dream a dream so big that you shine as the miracle in your own life

dream a dream

and then become 

the dream

we're in a relaionship

I hear and read a lot about building relationships in business.  It has become a catch phrase that represents the approach necessary to being successful in business or in any job.  It is something that was there all along but now we recognize it and have given it center stage in our efforts.  We seek to understand and connect with others so that we can help them, be of service to them.  We know that if we establish a relationship with those we meet we will benefit and grow with them, not just because of them.

Last night I had some friends over to my house for a jewelry party.  The two women who conducted the party were sisters and they presented numerous pieces of jewelry on mannequins that they had dressed in varying outfits to demonstrate the versatility and beauty of the jewelry.  The sisters had this rhythm between them that drew us in.  They were not glamorous or intimidatingly good looking.  They were just two women like us who used jewelry to look good, to feel pretty, and to augment their wardrobe.  Over the course of a couple of hours we got to know these women.  We shared food and talked while we tried on the jewelry, laughing and enjoying the "girls' dress-up event."  I learned a lot about mixing pieces of jewelry.  I learned even more about the power of relationships because these two women came into my home strangers but by the time they left I felt I knew them.

And that is the power of "relationshiping"in business and in life - getting to know others.  It's the going from "hello" to "I can't wait to hear from you."  It is the sharing of stories and experiences.  It is getting to that place of comfort and easy conversation where connection takes root and becomes something more.  Last night I fell in love with the jewelry, learned a lot, and chose pieces that I am excited about.  It was fun.  But it was the interaction with others and the experience that will bring me back to shop again.  They mentioned a spring line.  Can't wait!

the people we meet

One of my favorite things in this life is to meet new people.  I love the conversations and discovery.  I especially enjoy looking at the world through other people's eyes.  The perspective they offer often makes me reconsider my own views, opening me up to possibilities previously unconsidered.  How wonderful to find fresh ideas.  Today I met two new people.  At the end of my time with each of them I felt lifted.  The circle of my own life was broadened and reshaped by their having arrived.  And for that I was grateful.  Blessed.

Every day I have the opportunity to meet new people.  I love that as I get ready for my day what lies ahead is still largely veiled and unknown.  For all the planning I do, my interactions with people remain the element of surprise.  As we reach out to people through the internet and social media we take our cues from things they have written and posted on their websites, facebook, twitter, or elsewhere.  We have learned to interact using common tools, phrases, links, and visual and audio clips.  We live and function in this new realm where we converse, communicate, interact, do business, and build our community.  So often what someone has written or posted offers just what we need in the current moment.  Somedays it is the found phrase of another that inspires us, moves us to action, keeps us from giving up and allows us to find our way through to the next level of success we have been seeking.  It is that one person who seems to see us where we are and offers the hand of change, hope.

My goal is to be that person for someone on any given day.  I offer it from a grateful heart.  We are here on this planet in the wide universe to bless one another, to create the pathways, and to be a light.  Pay it forward.  There is always more.

A change in the weather

It's November 9th and the temperatures here in Phoenix finally dipped below 70 degrees - 69 to be exact.  Everyone was talking about how cold it was today.  People wore hats and coats and sweaters.  Now I know to my Canadian family and friends this sounds a little crazy.  But I've lived in Phoenix since 2003 so my thick Canadian blood thinned a long time ago.  And just so you know, I was not wearing a coat, hat, or even a sweater.   But I was delighted to feel the chill of November, be it ever so relative.  Because after months of living in air conditioning, fending off the 110 degrees outside, this was a day to celebrate.

All my life fall has been my favorite season.  The smell of macintosh apples, smoke from a chimney, a new woolen sweater, my leather book bag, maple leaves on the ground, are memories that take me back to my childhood in outport Newfoundland in autumn.  Of course, that was September.  Still today I found myself remembering those things and enjoying them once again, if only in my mind.  There was for me always a sense of new beginnings in the fall.  School, the promise of ideas, new books to read, stories to write, friends and adventures.  How lovely, that on this November day I was reawakened to that joyful anticipation because the cool air held a twinge of the crisp days of fall from long ago.

My life in this moment is filled with new beginnings.  I am learning to live my life as a single mom. I am meeting new people.  I am stepping out of my comfort zone to do things I have not dared before.  I am building a a business from home, a life long dream of mine.  These are new adventures, new joys.  And while I still have my moments of trepidation I wake each day with the certainty that I am on to something good.  Something wonderful.  A definite change in the weather.

May you blessed today!

www.ceowomenathome.com

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Do you have the time?

Who among us could not use more time?  We talk about time ~ all the time.  We say we don't have enough time, we are out of time, if only we had more time, time is running out.  We talk so much about time, not realizing we are wasting time talking about our lack of time. We say things like I would start a home-based business if I had the time.  I would exercise if I had the time.  I would get my masters, grow a garden, paint, quilt, run, read - all if I had the time.  We treat time like something we cannot afford, like something that costs too much for us to have it.  Yet time is always with us, we are always in it.  No matter what we are doing we are using time.  It's how we use time that matters.

I love the saying that what we focus on increases.  So if we focus on the lack of time, guess what?  We have a lack of time.  But if we focus on creating time to do the things that are important to us then we'll have more time.  It means not wasting time, squandering time, or letting time slip by.  When we take action to do things, suddenly time is our friend.  I can get a lot done in a short amount of time if I stay focused and work hard.  I can sometimes multi-task with vigor because I am energized to accomplish my tasks.  So often I can do more in an hour, because I am focused, than I may have done all day.

I work full time in a job outside my home but I also come home at the end of the day to work on my home-based business.  I schedule time for my business and stick to it.  I don't waste my time idly in front of the tv.  I choose to use my time wisely to create more of what I want in my life.  Dave Ramsey says that to be successful you have to "live like no one else so that later on you can live like no one else."  What you do with time today will determine what you can do with time later on.  That simple phrase of Ramsey's changed my view on what it takes to be successful in life, financially and otherwise.  You have got to do what it takes today, now, in this moment, in the time you are in, so that later you can use time the way you want to for other things in your life.

Face it, if you waste your time hoping you will win the lottery while you watch yet another tv show, come this time next year you will most likely still be doing the same thing.  And still complaining that you never have enough time.   How you spend your time now will always determine how you spend your time later on.  Take time, make time, create time.  It's up to you.


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Some days it all makes sense

I attended a Women's Leadership Conference today.  What a wonderful, successful day it was!  I was surrounded by women whose knowledge and experience affirmed for me that doing what you love in life, what you are passionate about, will lead you to fulfillment.  There was nothing exceptionally new being said but the message resonated with me in a new way and called me to action.  We talked a lot about facing our fears, not letting fears stop us, and believing in ourselves.  Following your passion, your bliss, carried throughout the conversations and presentations.  I was awake, fully awake, as I have not been for a long time, if ever, in my life.  All the self-help books, websites, magazines, blogs I have ever read came into clear focus as if someone drew aside a curtain and allowed me to look into my life for the first time.  In just a few hours I went from excuses and restraint to releasing my fears so that I can embrace my dreams.

I can't tell you that any one specific moment or phrase or person made this happen.  It was more that my affirmation at the beginning of the day for the right people and messages come into my life to reveal the direction I should take.  It happened with each person and conversation and presentation.  It was also that I was finally ready to hear the messages and to raise myself out of my place of self-doubt and worry.  You see, I have held a long list of "reasons" why things are not turning out as I desire.  I have an even longer list of "reasons" of why I should not do things.  But on this day, November 5th, 2010 I looked into the mirror to see the reflection of the one and only person who can change that version of my life - me.  And the fundamental truth that rang out like a bell calling me to my inner wisdom was that the fear of failure can only hold you back if you allow it.  Fear is simply something that resides in our minds and failure is nothing more than a lesson on the path to success; it can even be the reason for our success if we learn from it.

If today you are struggling with how to move forward in your life I understand how you feel.  I have been there.  It's my story too.  My advice is that you keep moving forward, one day, one step at a time.  Face your fears, stare them down.  Find mentors who believe in you.  Be uplifted by the shared experiences of those you know and those you meet.  Encouragement will show up when you need it and life will support you and give you courage - no matter what.  Simply lean into your passion and keep going.  It's worth it!